This is a quicky, but speak of the devil, 3view have gone and launched the UK’s first HD Freeview box, with PVR AND they have gone and added an ethernet port for internet connectivity, the ability to access iPlayer and YouTube content. Awesome!
But, and this is a big but. It’s not going to be available until March 
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Something happened on the 2nd of December that probably went undetected to most people, and most television sets, Freeview HD began broadcasting over the airwaves in London and Manchester. There will be four HD channels available:
BBC HD
ITV HD (early 2010)
Channel 4 HD (early 2010)
S4C (early 2010 – Wales only)
Five HD – to be added by late 2010.
Wow, that sounds cool, I have an HD telly can I pick these channels up? In short no. We are faced with an interesting situation, as you will need a DVB-T2 High Definition Freeview receiver with support for MPEG-4, and as of mid December 2009, these are not yet available.
The planned release of these boxes is scheduled for early 2010, perfect timing for Christmas eh!? Oh well, keep checking back here, you know the minute they are released we will be testing them all out for you folks.
You can find out more by Googling it lazy-bones.
In a move which could well cause record levels of smugness, Toyota has released a Prius advertising iPhone app which allows hybrid-fancying New Yorkers to have their doodles displayed on a whopping great digital billboard in Times Square. No news as yet on whether you can get away with writing profanity strewn, anti-green slogans or drawing pictures of big hairy cocks.
For anyone not conveniently close to the Big Apple and stupid enough to download the app, Toyota has thoughfully included 360 degree views of the in and outside of the car, along with some other stuff I kind of skim read which looked like interaction with the iPhone camera and a accelerometer-based game.
I can’t really be arsed summing up anything even remotely witty to say about our second post on hi-tech Christianity in a week. So just check out the Glo Bible in this awesome video and imagine some really side-splitting comments.
The latest version of everyone’s favourite handbook of bad morals includes over 7500 encyclopaedia articles, 7700 pieces of artwork, 2400 high-res pics, 500+ virtual tours, almost 150 maps and three and a half hours of video all for just a hair under 60 quid. Tragically, devout Mac users will be unable to take advantage of the Glo as it’s currently Windows exclusive.
Meh, I’m sticking to the LOLCat version anyway.
Seth MacFarlane Taking Family Guy from behind
Here are a few inevitable things that really annoy me in life; cool unknown bands becoming popular, death and people fucking selling out.
In an attempt to imitate the success of their recent campaign to raise awareness of Bing, Microsoft are using the same tactics to flog their new Windows 7 operating system, by sponsoring a Family Guy themed variety show called “Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex’s Almost Live Comedy Show”.
*Head in hands*
According to Advertising Age it will be an “all Seth MacFarlane night”, with Gayle Troberman, general manager of being a douche-bag at Microsoft adding that “You’ll see us deeply integrated into the content … you’ll hear a lot about how Windows 7 can help you simplify your PC — it’s simple, fast and easy to use.” Which translates in my head as “You will see us deeply integrating our massive advertising cock into your favourite TV programme”.
*Deep sigh*
Where once Family Guy may have been the show to ridicule and parody this blatant product placement, they have now become the establishment and have lost all credibility in the process. Below is their latest attempt integrate Windows humour into a sketch, I think you will agree it is the worst thing to happen to your brain since Milli Vanilli.
I never thought I’d say this, but Nintendo has joined the global fight against terrorism. Or at least it will have if a new project funded by US Homeland Security ever sees the light of day.
The acronym-friendly Future Attribute Screening Technology scheme aims to bolster airport security by identifying would-be terrorists via heart rate, breathing, eye movement, body temperature and… fidgeting, which is where Nintendo comes in.
Researchers have constructed an improvised “fidget monitor” from a Wii balance board, altered to monitor shifting weight. CNN reports that studies are now under way to determine whether a certain level of fidget suggests a jumpy terrorist with an IED stuffed into an available orifice. Hmmmm, or it could suggest fear of flying, really needing a piss, too many pre-flight coffees or a seething, impotent rage at being de-jacketed, de-shoed, forced to discard that refreshing bottle of Evian and held up by yet another nonsensical, fear-mongering security precaution. Just saying likes.
Everyone knows the iphone has a pretty comprehensive range of features, but until now, there was one glaring omission – talking to God (the big bearded dude on high, not His Jobsness).
The answer to what must surely have been many a prayer has manifested itself in the shape of a miraculous new app from the Archdiocese of Boston’s television show, CatholicTV. Devout techies can take advantage of a divine range of features including reflections, Mass celebrations and recitations of the rosary. (via our favourite Boston-based business journal, the Boston Business Journal)
In the unlikely event that you ever bore of the app and are yearning for just a little more religous guilt (or just want an excuse not to use a condom), why not check out the hotly anticipated Answers 4 Catholics app, when it’s released next month. Meanwhile, cast your eye over the selection on this thread. Who ever said the church was behind the times.
Barack Obama and David Cameron discuss their favourite LOLCATS
‘Oooh Barack, I wanna be like you. I love you. Oh please let some of your cool-ness rub off on me.’ Bleurgh. Jumping on the social networking bandwagon, The Conservatives in the run-up to the assumed general election next year, have just relaunched their new website which according to The Guardian is based on the model used by the Obama campaign in the the U.S. presidential elections last year.
However, they fail to report on how much of a pale imitation of the my.barakobama.com site actually is. On Friday when the story dropped, the site was down, great start. Looking a little closer it becomes apparent just how bland, boring and desperate it seems compared to the strong and confident online style seen by the Obama campaign team.
In a historic first for the criminal justic system, the UK High Court has flaunted it’s super trendy credentials by giving permission for an injunction to be served via social-networking site Twitter.
The unfortunate recipient is an anonymous tweeter posing as right-wing political loud mouth Donal Blaney.
The injunction – known as the Blaney’s Blarney Order – was due to be served at 1930 BST and will include a link to the text of the full court order accusing faux Blaney of breaching the copyright of the real one.
It’s not the first time social networking has been (mis)appropriated by the forces of law and order, last year an Australian couple who defaulted on their mortgage were served legally binding court documents via Facebook.
Facebook Toaster
Twitter/facebook/myspace/bebo (delete according to age, economic status and nationality) may seem all pervasive now, but if Samsung has its way, there truly will be no escape. The IFA consumer electronics trade show in Berlin saw the firm demonstrate its commitment to helping people chatter inanely and document aspects of their lives even mum doesn’t care about, by introducing social networking features to gadgets including cameras, TVs, digital photo frames, printers and mp3 players. Ok so I made the toaster up.
Not that facebook is all bad of course, after all, it can help Bollywood directors embarrass themselves with a spot of vaguely saucy chat, and allow girls trapped in storm drains to contact the emergency services when they’re too stupid to just dial the number (so much for it making you clever).
At The Processor we blog opinions on the latest trends in technology, games, geeky gadget things we find and random internet crap that may be of interest to your eyeballs. So well done you, for being a smartass and getting in with the geeks.
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