Archive for October, 2009

Apple updates line. Mac monkeys freak out.

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

New MacBook

What can be seen as a move to kick-start sales in the Christmas period, Apple have today released updates to a few products lines.

First off pictured above is the new entry level MacBook, which shares the same unibody construction as it’s ‘Pro’ counterparts and is subject to quite a few under the hood changes too (including LED backlight, glass multi-touch trackpad, up to 7 hours battery and better graphics). Retailing for £799, it will no doubt be on all the rich kids lists this Christmas.

new-mouse

Secondly, and I would say more importantly is the redesign and re-Christening of Apple’s flagship peripheral, the Magic Mouse. On first impressions the mouse looks beautiful, it takes what most computer manufactures regard as an afterthought and puts it on a pedestal. It is a stunning device from the company that popularised the mouse in the first place. It made from the same glass used in the construction of the track pads in their MacBook range, and it is sensitive to the same gestures.

Despite the general consensus that Apple may develop a multi-touch tablet and perhaps do away with mice altogether, with this Magic Mouse they really look like they are not going to let this input go quietly.

Thirdly and fourthly they have released updates to the iMac range and the Mac Mini, in line with expectations, read more about them here.

What Would Jesus Click?

Monday, October 19th, 2009

I can’t really be arsed summing up anything even remotely witty to say about our second post on hi-tech Christianity in a week. So just check out the Glo Bible in this awesome video and imagine some really side-splitting comments.

The latest version of everyone’s favourite handbook of bad morals includes over 7500 encyclopaedia articles, 7700 pieces of artwork, 2400 high-res pics, 500+ virtual tours, almost 150 maps and three and a half hours of video all for just a hair under 60 quid. Tragically, devout Mac users will be unable to take advantage of the Glo as it’s currently Windows exclusive.

Meh, I’m sticking to the LOLCat version anyway.

Family Guy hosting a Windows 7 Party

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
Seth MacFarlane Taking Family Guy from behind

Seth MacFarlane Taking Family Guy from behind

Here are a few inevitable things that really annoy me in life; cool unknown bands becoming popular, death and people fucking selling out.

In an attempt to imitate the success of their recent campaign to raise awareness of Bing, Microsoft are using the same tactics to flog their new Windows 7 operating system, by sponsoring a Family Guy themed variety show called “Family Guy Presents: Seth & Alex’s Almost Live Comedy Show”.

*Head in hands*

According to Advertising Age it will be an “all Seth MacFarlane night”, with Gayle Troberman, general manager of being a douche-bag at Microsoft adding that “You’ll see us deeply integrated into the content … you’ll hear a lot about how Windows 7 can help you simplify your PC — it’s simple, fast and easy to use.” Which translates in my head as “You will see us deeply integrating our massive advertising cock into your favourite TV programme”.

*Deep sigh*

Where once Family Guy may have been the show to ridicule and parody this blatant product placement, they have now become the establishment and have lost all credibility in the process. Below is their latest attempt integrate Windows humour into a sketch, I think you will agree it is the worst thing to happen to your brain since Milli Vanilli.

Augment this

Monday, October 12th, 2009

Augmented reality is pretty fucking cool right? I mean how could it not be – projecting fake stuff onto real stuff is an inherently cool use of technology. Given these high base levels of cool, you’d be forgiven for thinking that it wouldn’t be too hard to come up with something at least reasonably cool, even for a socially crippled and chronically uncool games designer. Arcade Reality – an AR shooter for the iphone – comprehensively stomps that theory however. Quite honestly, it looks about as much fun as masturbating with an electric sander. Who cares that you can tackle nasty aliens in your office/car/vermin infested bedroom when they look as awful as this.

Nintendo wages war on terror

Monday, October 12th, 2009

I never thought I’d say this, but Nintendo has joined the global fight against terrorism. Or at least it will have if a new project funded by US Homeland Security ever sees the light of day.

The acronym-friendly Future Attribute Screening Technology scheme aims to bolster airport security by identifying would-be terrorists via heart rate, breathing, eye movement, body temperature and… fidgeting, which is where Nintendo comes in.

Researchers have constructed an improvised “fidget monitor” from a Wii balance board, altered to monitor shifting weight. CNN reports that studies are now under way to determine whether a certain level of fidget suggests a jumpy terrorist with an IED stuffed into an available orifice. Hmmmm, or it could suggest fear of flying, really needing a piss, too many pre-flight coffees or a seething, impotent rage at being de-jacketed, de-shoed, forced to discard that refreshing bottle of Evian and held up by yet another nonsensical, fear-mongering security precaution. Just saying likes.

Psalm computing

Wednesday, October 7th, 2009

Jesus makes a quick call to pops.

Everyone knows the iphone has a pretty comprehensive range of features, but until now, there was one glaring omission – talking to God (the big bearded dude on high, not His Jobsness).

The answer to what must surely have been many a prayer has manifested itself in the shape of a miraculous new app from the Archdiocese of Boston’s television show, CatholicTV. Devout techies can take advantage of a divine range of features including reflections, Mass celebrations and recitations of the rosary. (via our favourite Boston-based business journal, the Boston Business Journal)

In the unlikely event that you ever bore of the app and are yearning for just a little more religous guilt (or just want an excuse not to use a condom), why not check out the hotly anticipated Answers 4 Catholics app, when it’s released next month. Meanwhile, cast your eye over the selection on this thread. Who ever said the church was behind the times.

Getting an iOffer from Apple

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009
iOffer - How Apple do job offers

iOffer - How Apple do job offers

Ever wondered what it would be like to get a job offer from one of the most highly regarded companies in Silicon Valley? Well one blogger, Twisted founder Glyph Lefkowitz, was lucky enough to get one. And as all good bloggers should do, promptly posted an Engadget style ‘unboxing’. Commenting on things like the “hinge tension” and the “tab style navigation”, Apple can be sure that they have hired another disciple obsessed with the same attention to detail as The Lord Jobs Himself.

Read this, then go get yourself a job! Slacker.

Tories fail to do an ‘Obama’ online

Monday, October 5th, 2009
Barack Obama and David Cameron discuss their favourite LOLCATS

Barack Obama and David Cameron discuss their favourite LOLCATS

‘Oooh Barack, I wanna be like you. I love you. Oh please let some of your cool-ness rub off on me.’ Bleurgh. Jumping on the social networking bandwagon, The Conservatives in the run-up to the assumed general election next year, have just relaunched their new website which according to The Guardian is based on the model used by the Obama campaign in the the U.S. presidential elections last year.

myconservatives.com

However, they fail to report on how much of a pale imitation of the my.barakobama.com site actually is. On Friday when the story dropped, the site was down, great start. Looking a little closer it becomes apparent just how bland, boring and desperate it seems compared to the strong and confident online style seen by the Obama campaign team.

obamasite

Court order via Twitter

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

In a historic first for the criminal justic system, the UK High Court has flaunted it’s super trendy credentials by giving permission for an injunction to be served via social-networking site Twitter.

The unfortunate recipient is an anonymous tweeter posing as right-wing political loud mouth Donal Blaney.

The injunction – known as the Blaney’s Blarney Order – was due to be served at 1930 BST and will include a link to the text of the full court order accusing faux Blaney of breaching the copyright of the real one.

It’s not the first time social networking has been (mis)appropriated by the forces of law and order, last year an Australian couple who defaulted on their mortgage were served legally binding court documents via Facebook.